Jokes Collections-10 :: My Required . Info

There are 3 kinds of people:Those who can count,and those who cannot.~George Carlin

Jokes Collections-10

Written by Administrator Saturday, 14 March 2009 15:24

Customer: "Waiter, waiter, do you have frog's legs?"
Waiter: "Certainly, Sir!"
Customer: "Well hop over here and get me a sandwich!"

Three couples are dining together.
The American husband says to his wife: "Pass me the honey, Honey".
The English husband says to his wife: "Pass me the sugar, Sugar".
The [you name it] husband says to his wife: "Pass me the steak, Dumb cow".

Two men were in a restaurant and ordered fish. The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the other. One of the men said to the other, "Please help yourself." The other one said "Okay", and helped himself to the larger fish. After a tense silence, the first one said, "really, now, if you had offered me the first choice, I would have taken the smaller fish!" The other one replied, "What are you complaining for; you have it, don't you?"

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

"What flavors of ice cream do you have?" inquired the customer. "Vanilla, strawberry and chocolate," answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper. Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked "Do you have laryngitis?" "No...." replied the new waitress with some effort, "just...erm.... vanilla, strawberry and chocolate."

Customer: "Give me a hot dog."
Waiter: "With pleasure."
Customer: "No, with mustard."

You Might Be a Redneck If...

Did you hear about the new 3 Million Dollar Redneck State Lottery? The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.

Two redneck hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their pickemup truck. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey," says the lone hunter, "I don't want to tell you how to do something... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the opposite direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground." After the lone hunter left, the two rednecks decided to give it a try. A little while later one says to the other, "Ya know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yep," the other added, "but we're gittin' further away from the truck...."

* * *

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

* * *

Q: What do you get when you have 32 Rednecks in the same room?
A: A full set of teeth.

* * *

Q: Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
A: Everyone has the same DNA.

* * *

Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Arkansas burned down?
A: Yep. Pert'near took out the whole trailer park

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